Class, weigh in and more

God I can’t believe I haven’t posted for a week, I’ve taken photos of my food so I have no excuse! Apologies guys!! Will try to be more diligent on my postings in future 😦

So weigh in – I maintained, am happy and disapointed all at the same time. I was out lots at the weekend, and drank way too much, so by the end of the weekend I was 2lbs up and worked hard to get those pesky pounds off so I should be happy but really wanted a loss on the scales as my weightloss is just looking pants right now!! I know I could be more committed, I’ve accepted that but I’ve been out loads as well and I seem to struggle when my social life is ripe LOL!.

So I am not sure if I am feeling this way because I am really super tired at the moment and no amount of sleep is making that feel better and I just don’t feel well but don’t know why or even how to explain it, I just know I’m under the weather but can’t be any more specific than that, my hands, legs and feet feel weak and like they weigh a ton if I try to lift them. But for the first time ever I felt disillusioned in class, embarrased and humiliated.

Now I am not saying that those feelings are right or valid, but thats how I feel.

When it came to my turn I explained that I had been out loads but thought I could do far better on my superfree with each meal. But my consultant saying she was going to issue some “tough love” to me because she knew I could do better and what was stopping me being committed to the plan. I was struggling to even keep my eyes open, I so felt like telling her to feck off but of course I didn’t because she’s lovely and caring and supportive and just wants me to do well on the plan, I just wasn’t in the mood for the spotlight being on me and feeling like I needed to explain myself. I felt backed into a corner to agree to try for 3lb loss next week, even though she knows I struggle get big losses, even on 100% weeks I struggle to get big losses, so feel this huge weight of expectation on my shoulders right now that I just don’t need! If I get 2lbs next week thats brilliant for me but I’ll feel a failure for not getting the 3lbs, thats why I don’t like to say a specific weight loss goal for the following week, I prefer to say I am aiming for a loss, because, I just can’t cope with the pressure of an exact amount, I’ve explained this to her on numerous occasions! She wants me to do a food diary, thats easy I do one in anycase, I have this super duper spreadsheet that I devised and there’s lots of pretty colours on it haha!!

So there’s my moan over for the day. I’m going to try to up my superfree this week, try to cut back a bit on my cereal bars for snacks, have more fruit see how I go. Not out this week except for a meal with my mum tomorrow night, we are going to Frankie and Benny’s I’ve told my mum I want the pasta arribiata and side salad and I am not allowed to order anything different!

I’ll commit to post a food diary on here every day!

I think thats enough committment and expectations for the week LOL!!

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